In light of Father’s Day coming up this month, it seems fitting to make my first post about my dear old man. I’m sure most people think that their dad’s are the bee’s knees. I’m no exception. My dad is one of my favorite human beings on this planet.
A lot of people have stories about dads’ walking out on them when they were kids. Then there are all of those teen pregnancies where the girls are forced to raise a baby alone because the father is too immature to deal with it. My story would be the polar opposite.
My dad was 20 years old when I was born. My birth mother was 18. I was definitely not a planned pregnancy. Dear old dad wanted to do right. He was determined to raise me and be the good guy. He married her and 9 months and 2 weeks later, out popped 8lb me. He was putty in my hands from that moment.
Now I cannot imagine having a child at my age, let alone at 18 or 20 years old. Props to them for trying to stick it out. But motherhood was not for her. She took my dad’s stereo, and his beloved car, and she split. Left him to raise me all by himself…at 20. I could barely figure out how to feed myself at 20, let alone a little screaming poop machine. I think I was about 1 at the time. Hey, she made it a year. Here’s a cookie.
He could have passed me off to my grandparents. He could have gone out and partied and left me to be someone else’s problem. But he didn’t. He was awesome and amazing and gave me everything he could. He worked jobs he hated, made sacrifices, and always came home to me.
About a year later, he met my mom. Confused? Well technically, she is my step-mom but she is the only mom I’ve ever been able to count on and an amazing woman. Anyone can be a mother. Select few can be a mom. They got married when I was 2. My brother came along 2 years after that. Our little family was complete.
Now, I was not an ideal daughter. I had my rebellious years. I gave them gray hair and I made them worry. They got the whole child experience with me. Lucky for them, my brother was an angel. But through all of that, no matter how awful I was, they were both always there for me. Whenever my heart got broken, he would be there to make me laugh. When I got bullied at school, he taught me how to fight back. When I wanted to drive, he taught me. Now I drive just like him, much to my wife’s and my mom’s chagrin.
On our small family budget, my parents tried to always make us feel like we had the whole world available to us. They scrimped and saved to take us on a few vacations during our childhood. At Christmastime, you would have thought we were rich. But only my brother and me. My dad wanted us to have everything so he would make sure we got the items we really wanted. My mom helped too, of course. 🙂
I definitely get my work ethic from him. I was bratty and desperate to be popular. Ugh, why? I always wanted to have the hottest clothes from the coolest brands but we couldn’t always afford it. He made me a deal. I come up with half, they would pay the rest. I immediately found a job. Actually, I found two. I’ve been working pretty steadily since I was 12. Now, I hate to not be busy.
I was terrified to come out to my father. We’re from a conservative area with not a whole lot of diversity. I took off to the Big Apple the moment I could which was hard for them to understand. Small town life just never did it for me. When I had to make the phone call to tell him, I was shaking. Afraid he wouldn’t understand, afraid he’d not want to speak to me again. I couldn’t have been more wrong. He was proud of me and assured me he’s always there. He even said he knew. Hell, even I didn’t know that. Him and my mom have welcomed my wife with open arms, making her feel like a real part of the family.
He has taught me so many life lessons. He taught me to get over it. Get up and walk it off. This one has taken me longer to really learn but it finally hit me. Don’t whine about what you don’t have or what kind of bad experience you had to go through. Learn something and then get over it and move on. It’s now my favorite saying.
The one I always carry with me is to never settle. We go after what we really want, until we have it. We don’t take second best. I’m not talking material goods either. Some people have asked how in the world I am so driven. It’s this lesson. I strive to go after what I want until it is within my reach.
No matter how old I get, or whatever fancy job I have or clothes I wear, I’m a big mush inside when it comes to my father. Even writing this post, I’m sitting here bawling my eyes out just remembering some of these moments. He’s my #1 Dad and I hope he knows it.
Don’t be jealous mom, your post will come soon enough. xo
Mixtape Musings 